… Your own, that is.
Arrogance speaks only in words. It finds rational arguments to convince us of things we wish were true. In essence it is denial and at its most severe it criticizes others as self-defense.
It is the part of you that makes excuses, and they can be very convincing. It may tell you ”I don’t need to learn this” or, “I already know that” but behind these phrases often lies fear, the fear that we are being led away from our preferred self-image.
Rarely are we in a position to rationalize accurately what is or isn’t relevant to our future. Yet the more elaborate and specific the image we seek for ourselves, the more we will be arrogant and unaware of the opportunities around us to grow and change.
There is a better approach. That of openness and humility.
Humility speaks in feelings, and intuits what is real as truth. Humility needs no words to explain or justify. Its intuition knows the steps one must take in order to progress.
So how do we spot the difference? We must connect with our feelings. If you do not need to explain to yourself why a particular path is or is not relevant to you, you are probably acting in your best interests.
It is when we feel the need to defend our positions that something isn’t right. When we find ourselves justifying our position with “because” and “but”, we must take a moment to become aware of how we feel. It may be that we are afraid.
“You cannot think your way in to becoming yourself”.
Act with humility, seek out the part of you that knows truth with intuition. Allow yourself the belief that you know what is right for you without having to rationalize it. And, if you are afraid, be honest about it, with yourself and with others.
I’m spending some time at the moment writing strictly in standard notation and I would greatly appreciate hearing from instrumentalists of all kinds. I would like to be able to write for you and also to hear your feedback on the playability of the pieces I am writing.
Whether you are a beginner or whether you passed grade 8 years ago, I would like to write for you and find out what my pieces are like to play.
Drop me a line via the email link above and let’s make a connection!
I have recently been facing a growing dilemma. It has lurked for months but its growth has accelerated lately, reaching the brink this week.
As my knowledge and loyalty to myself and my feelings has rapidly developed, I have become so aware that the sector in which I am currently earning money does not seem to fit with these feelings. But it has been particularly burdensome for me working in the charity sector, because as my motivation has declined, my sense of guilt has increased as I have become more and more aware of the impact of my decreasing motivation.
I chose this week to begin talking about it more openly with colleagues, and coincidentally it is this week that one of my managers chose to approach me. These conversations have been entirely open, genuine and helpful conversations that have done much to lift the weight that has been bearing upon me. One particularly poignant highlight came as my manager and I ’compared notes’ to find that we had both previously concluded my heart is not in this role, a moment that only confirmed that feeling.
Only the next day I approached my other manager, at another but essentially identical role and told him my concerns. He had also been sensing a problem and was kind, understanding and hugely supportive in listening to me.
What has begun emerging from these conversations, which I wanted to share, is the real problem that had been developing.
As I had been growing in awareness that this field no longer provided me with satisfaction, I had also been becoming concerned with how continuing in the field defined me. I had unconsciously been worrying that the consequences of being seen in these roles and to be perceived as passionate and capable, would only draw me in to deeper involvement in this field. I had determined that this field was a different direction than those I feel compelled towards. I was concerned that I was powerless to be as I feel within this field, a field which I had determined in its entirety was no longer of relevance to me.
But in conversation with my managers, it was expressed that perhaps I had become too involved in the content, the product that I am dealing with. In a field that is wholly focused on an improvement to emotional and physical health of others, I was ironically not being selfish enough.
So it seems some reframing is required. It is not about the content that I am delivering, it is about the skills I am developing. Perhaps one should not even go as far as to decide whether the skills are relevant to ones dreams and aspirations, because dreams can transform as one develops. But of utmost importance it appears to be about whether I am enjoying developing these skills.
It is not enough to feel passion or simply be interested in a topic, there must be opportunities for personal development and growth that can be satisfying and rewarding to oneself, regardless of the field in which these emerge. It seems the real challenge, and indeed the ultimate question is whether one can continue to find these challenges within one’s current field.
If the answer is no, then perhaps there are only two conclusions: One can learn to work hard and keep searching for fulfilling opportunites despite doubts and disillusionment, in the hope that this in itself will be a useful skill later in life. Or otherwise, one can conclude that it is time to move on.
Because it is only when one is feeling adequately fulfilled that one can produce work with the greatest potential to change the world. One has to start with oneself.
This is the phrase I have been pondering lately; the cliché that appears through Hollywood films and on the lips idealists and optimists everywhere.
It’s a phrase that seems to say so much, yet unless one knows how to dream, it really means nothing.
And I am not all that convinced many of us do know how to dream.
Often in this context one might receive advice such as ‘Don’t let anything stop you’, or indeed, ‘Don’t let anyone stop you’. But what if you have no dream? How does one find a dream to follow?
What rarely seems to be discussed is that perhaps the biggest obstacle to having a dream and achieving it is ourselves. We never get to the dreaming stage because we want to know the dream we pursue is right for us. We don’t want to waste our time on the ‘wrong’ dream.
What we don’t seem to understand is that there are no wrong dreams. It is not the dream itself that matters, it is having a dream that is important and especially, choosing not to doubt it.
No one can objectively decide upon their ability to achieve a dream, there are far too many unknowns between now and the point where the dream is attained. Why bother to question it? If to imagine attaining your dream makes you feel good, then allow that power to take you.
It is the surrendering to the possibilities, the good and the bad, the forces of nature, without resistance, that is the essence of dreaming.
Like a canoeist rowing downstream, we merely stabilize ourselves in the irreversible current of life. If we remain conscious, we can ensure we avoid the rocks, drifting safely through the rapids and out in to an Ocean Sunset. The longer we choose to row against the current, the greater the likelihood we hit the rocks.
Allow yourself to drift, allow yourself to daydream, allow yourself to feel good about your dreams.
Never question why.
Only how?
Picture - ryafacan.deviantart.com