Derek Kirkup

… Your own, that is.

Arrogance speaks only in words. It finds rational arguments to convince us of things we wish were true. In essence it is denial and at its most severe it criticizes others as self-defense.

It is the part of you that makes excuses, and they can be very convincing. It may tell you ”I don’t need to learn this” or, “I already know that” but behind these phrases often lies fear, the fear that we are being led away from our preferred self-image.

Rarely are we in a position to rationalize accurately what is or isn’t relevant to our future. Yet the more elaborate and specific the image we seek for ourselves, the more we will be arrogant and unaware of the opportunities around us to grow and change.

There is a better approach. That of openness and humility.

Humility speaks in feelings, and intuits what is real as truth. Humility needs no words to explain or justify. Its intuition knows the steps one must take in order to progress.

So how do we spot the difference? We must connect with our feelings. If you do not need to explain to yourself why a particular path is or is not relevant to you, you are probably acting in your best interests.

It is when we feel the need to defend our positions that something isn’t right. When we find ourselves justifying our position with “because” and “but”, we must take a moment to become aware of how we feel. It may be that we are afraid.

“You cannot think your way in to becoming yourself”.

Act with humility, seek out the part of you that knows truth with intuition. Allow yourself the belief that you know what is right for you without having to rationalize it. And, if you are afraid, be honest about it, with yourself and with others.

It was late at night and I had been working on music for hours without a break. I was in the middle of several days of remixing old material, bringing it up to my current standards.

I had recently received a boost of passion and vigor about my career and made a clear plan for where I wanted to be in the coming months.

However, that plan could not have been farther from my mind as my ears honed in ever more precisely and technically to the minute imperfections of my music. I endlessly tweaked away, yet found myself repeatedly more dissatisfied and frustrated.

What was I trying to achieve here?

I could feel, just at the edge of consciousness, a sense of self-consciousness about putting this material online. I wanted to get it perfect. Essentially, I was afraid that the production quality of my material was not high enough to attract the people I wanted to attract.

So, I took a break. But whereas I perhaps should have left it for the evening, I instead decided to check my email.

Sitting in my inbox was an email from Avaaz.org. It was a petition to the Arab League to help the Syrian people, who are enduring months of increasing abuse, torture and murder by the Syrian government, with no end in sight.

Suddenly my fears of what people might think of my material paled in comparison to the terrible struggles the Syrian people are facing.

But not only did this comparison serve to humble me instantly, it empowered me. I remembered why it is I write music, primarily, why it is that I write for film.

It is for that feeling, that inspiration, that one gets after experiencing an inspiring story. The feeling one is left with after watching heroes struggle to overcome the odds and succeed. The feeling of knowing we are all on our own heroic journeys.

That feeling is priceless and its effects immeasurable. Walking away from an experience with the sense that we can be better people, that we can have better relationships, and that we have the power within each of us to change the world.

Through art we open up the human capacity to feel and we show our audience that they can get through it, that they have the potential to go beyond what they thought they were capable of.

Because although we may be humble artists, amongst our audience are scientists, engineers, teachers, entrepreneurs and many other disciplines. Between them they possess skills and abilities that far outnumber those of any one particular field. But we all value art.

If we create with true intentions, if we choose to feel the value of our work, if we can access that flow state whereby our art seems to develop from a place beyond our ego, then its essence will speak for itself, no matter how imperfect its presentation may be.

We must open ourselves up, confidently yet humbly engaging with our audience and our peers, and we must seek to improve ourselves and our art through these relations.

Because it is through our relationships with others, and the products of these relationships, that we will always change the world.